


Epiphany

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-17
Updated: 2006-06-16
Packaged: 2018-08-16 04:15:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8086747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: A disastrous away mission causes Trip and T'Pol to finally confront their feelings, but in true Romeo and Juliet style, tragedy occurs soon after.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: The muse has been pestering me to write, normally that would be good. However, I have exams, and apparently revision helps!  
  
This is set quite soon after home, and goes completely AU from there on. This will be very angsty, so be warned!  
  
Disclaimer- Still don't own Enterprise, I did ask for it for my Birthday last week, but I didn't get it. (Cries)  


* * *

A spectacular curtain of golden yellowâ€™s and orangeâ€™s licked at the edges of the enormous ice ball of a planet. The crisp white celestial body hung loosely on Enterpriseâ€™s view screen as the bridge crew looked on. It had been over a year since Enterprise had even considered a mission of exploration, the Xindi conflict preventing the crew from carrying out its original mission, instead plunging Enterprise into the middle of a war to save Earth. This was going to be Enterpriseâ€™s first exploratory mission since the Expanse. Archer for one couldnâ€™t be happier; this was why he had always aspired to be the captain of the very first warp five ship. To explore, experience new things, and meet new species.

The crew also seemed to be in good spirits, but that was probably due more to the fact that they had just had several weeks of much deserved shore leave. Archer himself had met up with old friends, a certain Columbia captain to be exact. The thought of Erika brought a small smile to his lips. The rest of the crew were almost in as good a mood as he, Hoshi, he had heard had gone back to Brazil, to meet old friends, students, and of course her family. Travis had met up with the crew of the Horizon, who had stopped off at Earth, and Malcolm, well he wasnâ€™t exactly sure where the security officer had gone, perhaps he had taken some time to relax, left all his duties behindâ€¦ well it could have happened Archer mused.

Trip and Tâ€™pol on the other hand looked worse now than they were on the Xindi mission. Archer hadnâ€™t been as close to the engineer in the last year, the mission taking all of his energies and focus and was something he regretted. He hadnâ€™t even been there for Trip when Lizzie had died, Archer had met Tripâ€™s younger sister several times, and it was hard not to like her. She had that natural Tucker charm and wit, just like her brother. He couldnâ€™t even relate to what it must have felt like for his chief engineer to lose her. He didnâ€™t even attempt to find out, or be there for Trip or any other member of the crew when they needed him, something he had promised he would never do again.

The Captain hadnâ€™t spent that much time with Trip recently, but he could tell something was bothering his best friend, the once up beat and happy engineer was now just a shell of his former self. Whether it was just the effects of the Xindi mission, or something else entirely he couldnâ€™t figure out, and every time he attempted to talk to him, Trip would use his apparent backlog of work as an excuse, he wouldnâ€™t even come to the Captainâ€™s mess for breakfast.

Tâ€™pol similarly seemed moreâ€¦. Detached and depressed, to the extent a Vulcan could be. He had heard she spent all free time in her quarters, and the only time he had seen her when she was not on duty was yesterday morning, when they had breakfast, something he almost had to order her to attend. It had occurred to Archer that his two most senior officerâ€™s moods could be related. They did seem to spend more time together in the Expanse, and then there was the neuro-pressure, a very intimate procedure by all accounts. Perhaps something more than curing Tripâ€™s nightmares had been going on. That would also explain why at staff meetings they avoided looking in each otherâ€™s directions, and stayed as far away from each other as possible whenever they had to work together. God, what had he missed?

Archerâ€™s attention was drawn back to the main view screen as a wider array of colour burst forth upon the screen. It reminded him slightly of the auroras on Earth; however, they paled in comparison to this. It seemed the planetâ€™s composition and conditions, amplified the effects, amongst other things. Resulting in several unusual readings not associated with this event to appear on Enterpriseâ€™s scanners.

â€œDo we know anything more about it Tâ€™pol?â€ Archer queried looking over to the science station, where the Vulcan was seated behind.

â€œThe Vulcan science directorate has determined that this event occurs every one hundred and thirty seven years, however it doesnâ€™t contain any record of the anomalous scans we are receiving. Nor can I theorise why we are receiving these readings.â€

â€œSo we may have just found something the Vulcanâ€™s missed,â€ Archer replied, his voice sounding eager.

â€œPerhapsâ€ was her simple reply. â€œHowever, Enterpriseâ€™s scanners are receiving some electromagnetic interference, possibly causing the anomalies. A shuttle pod is better shielded against them, and would not be subjected to the same interference. If we were to investigate further using one of Enterpriseâ€™s shuttleâ€™s to collect the data would be the best course of action.â€ She finished

The Captain nodded, the crew could use an easy mission anyway, and besides maybe now he had a way for his two most senior officers to sort out their problems. He wasnâ€™t the only one that had noticed their hesitance to work together, and whenever they were in the same room together the tension increased ten fold. For a ship to run it needed its officers to work smoothly and efficiently together, not avoid each other every chance they got.

â€œTâ€™pol, contact Trip, I want you two to take the shuttle and investigate further.â€ Archer ordered, Tâ€™polâ€™s Vulcan mask faded slightly and it almost looked like a look of alarm appeared on her features. â€œVery well Captainâ€ She replied, almost hesitantly. She stood up from her console and moved over to the Turbo lift heading for engineering.

Tâ€™pol walked slowly through Enterpriseâ€™s grey corridors, towards the engine room. It had been four weeks now since she had married Koss, a marriage that was more out of a sense of duty to her family than anything else. The thought of her â€¦ husband brought a slight sickening feeling to the young Vulcan. She had never expected her trip home would end with her marrying Koss, and with _him_ watching her. Her heart sank at the thought of the engineer, would she be like this if Trip was the one she had bonded to? _It is illogical to think this way,_ she chided herself. _Koss is your mate now. You are Vulcan, you and the Commander could never have been together._ Her inner voice screamed to her, as if trying to convince her. That didnâ€™t stop her from flashing back to the last time she had saw him on Vulcan, she had caught his eyes after the ceremony. His bright blue eyes, which usually were so happy and alive now just showed pain and sadness. He had stood by her, watched her marry someone else, even though it had nearly killed him. He smiled to her, an empty smile, and then he mouthed goodbye to her, his bottom lip quivering slightly as he fought back the tears that threatened to spill, and then he left. It took all of her Vulcan training to stop her running after him. Instead, she remained in her position at Kossâ€™s side, somewhere she would have to remain for the rest of her life.

Tâ€™pol was brought out of her musings as she realised she was entering engineering; she walked over to Lieutenant Hess and inquired as to the whereabouts of the chief Engineer. The Lieutenant absently pointed to one of the consoles on the upper levels as she went back to analysing the component she had grasped in her fingers. Tâ€™pol nodded her thanks and climbed up the ladder to the upper level, she moved over to the far station where a pair of long legs poked out from underneath the console. His greasy uniform was pulled slightly down, exposing part of his muscular torso.

â€œHess, is that you? Can you hand me the spanner?â€ he asked. Tâ€™pol looked around, her gaze stopping on the toolbox, she moved over to it and took out the necessary instrument and passed it Trip. His hand came up to grab it, as he did his fingers brushed hers. The second their skin met it felt as if a small wave of electricity had passed between the two, Tâ€™pol quickly withdrew her hand, as Trip pulled himself from out under the console.

â€œTâ€™pol?â€ he questioned â€œI thought you were Hess.â€ He stated, standing up.

His eyes darted away from hers as he realised how close he was standing to her, he took a few steps back. _Is this how itâ€™s always going to be?_ she asked herself, as the engineer avoided looking at her. Instead placing the spanner in the box, and wiping some of the sweat off his face with his arm.

â€œWhat did you want?â€ He asked, the question coming out more harshly than he had wanted.

Tâ€˜polâ€˜s Vulcan features showed no emotion to his comment, however inside was a different story. â€œThe Captain wants you to accompany me on an away mission to explore the phenomenon we have just encountered.â€ she stated, abruptly back. He opened his mouth to respond but she cut him off, â€œIt is not up for debate Commander,â€ she stated.

Trip winced at her use of his rank, she often referred to him by it but now it just soundedâ€¦ different, harsher. It reminded him that his nickname would never again sound on her lips, married Vulcanâ€™s apparently did not familiarise themselves with other males, that meant no nicknames, no Trip - just Commander, or Mr Tucker.

â€œIâ€™ll see you down in the shuttle bay in half an hour. I need to shower and I wouldnâ€™t want to offend that sensitive nose of yours.â€ He told her, walking past her before she had a chance to answer.

The engineer headed out of engineering towards his quarters, the second he had come back from Vulcan he had plunged himself back into work. Someone needed to co-ordinate Enterpriseâ€™s upgrades from Jupiter Station and he was more than willing to do it. He had thought that by working he could forget about _her_. The person who had both healed and broken his heart. He had at first believed that the trip to Vulcan would be a good thing, a very good thing. He had a chance to see Tâ€™polâ€™s home, meet her family. He had even decided that he would ask her to start a relationship with him, going as far as planning it out. He was going to take her to the fire planes, tell her, tell her he had never felt the same way about anyone, that he thought he was falling in love with her. He knew it was overly emotional, but hell, he didnâ€™t care. Except then she sprung her arranged marriage on him, what was he suppose to do? He did the only thing he could, stand by her and support her. After all thatâ€™s what a good _friend_ would have done, right?

Tâ€™polâ€™s mother had found out what his feelings were, he had even found himself confessing to her when he first realised that he loved her daughter, she had told him to tell Tâ€™pol, but he couldnâ€™t. She had enough on her plate as it was, she didnâ€™t need a love struck human messing with her mind. Even so, that didnâ€™t stop him from hatingâ€¦ her husband with every fibre of his being. He had currently come up with a mental list of two hundred and thirteen ways Koss could â€˜accidentallyâ€™ disappear. He knew it was childish, but it made him feel slightly better.

Ever since Tâ€™pol had come back from Vulcan, he had tried to avoid her, sparing himself and her any more pain. He didnâ€™t think he could trust himself not to reveal how he really felt if he was left alone with her. That was the reason why he was in such a â€˜greatâ€™ mood at the thought of being trapped and alone in a shuttle with her for hours.

In truth, he didnâ€™t know what he was going to do, not just about this mission but the ones in the future. He just couldnâ€™t cope seeing her everyday and knowing nothing could ever happen between them. He had entertained the thought of transferring to another ship, he had spent a good three years on Enterprise, getting her into good condition, perhaps he was ready for a change. Colombia - Earthâ€™s second warp five vessel was preparing to leave, and he had been offered the position of chief engineer. He didnâ€™t know if he truly wanted to leave Enterprise, he had made many friends in the past three years, but he still hadnâ€™t turned down Colombiaâ€™s job offer, and every time he saw the Vulcan science officer the position looked better and better.

After a quick shower, he soon arrived at the shuttle bay, finding Tâ€™pol performing the pre-flight check. After a brief acknowledgement he seated himself in the seat next to her, she was wearing the skin-tight red cat suit that she always looked so good in. It complemented her figure and her eyes andâ€¦ _Stop it Tucker, sheâ€™s a married woman,_ he ordered, forcing himself to search his mind for anything that would take his thoughts away from her. _Ok, Number two hundred and fourteen, Koss gets mauled by giant Shelat. Number two hundred and fifteen Koss falls off Mount Seleya. Number two hundred andâ€¦_

â€œCommanderâ€ Tâ€™polâ€™s monotone voice brought the engineer out of his thoughts. He looked over to her.

â€œWe are prepared to leave; I suggest you acquaint yourself with the phenomenon.â€ She said, pushing a pad towards Trip. He took it, and started scanning the data.

Tâ€™pol looked over to him, her sensitive nose picking up traces of engine grease and soap. His hair was still slightly damp, and an untamed blond curl had fallen on to his forehead. She quelled the illogical part of her that wanted to stroke the lock of hair off his face. Her feelings towards the engineer were so illogical, she was bonded to Koss and yet she found her thoughts constantly drifting to this human, what was wrong with her? She was Vulcan, and Vulcanâ€™s didnâ€™t even entertain the thoughts she was having. She had tried to convince herself that it was a residual effect from her time in the Expanse, a side effect from her abuse of Trellium and that it would go away in time. She knew she was only fooling herself.

Ever since that day on Vulcan, she kept reflecting back on what had happened in the Expanse. Especially the time when Enterprise had met with their descendants, her and Tripâ€™s son - Lorian. Soon after she had found out about herâ€¦ sonâ€™s existence she had gone to meet her future self, their conversation all those months ago replaying over and over in her head.

â€˜ _The humans have a saying, follow your heart._ â€™ the words echoed throughout her consciousness, and Tâ€™pol allowed her gaze to flicker over to the engineer. â€˜What if my heart doesnâ€™t know what it wants.â€™ she asked her elder selfâ€¦. â€˜ _It will, in time._ â€™

Tâ€™pol almost envied the other Enterprise. There her alternate self never had to deal with politics or arranged marriages; she wasnâ€™t practically blackmailed into a bonding she didnâ€™t want. All her choices were her own, she had been able to â€™follow her heartâ€™ - something Tâ€™pol could now never do, even if she had decided what her heart wanted. One thing she did know for sure though was that it didnâ€™t want Koss.

â€œShuttle pod one, are you ready to depart?â€ The voice of Captain Archer cut through the craftâ€™s communications.

Tâ€™pol was brought back to reality and reached over to press the com. â€œI have just performed the necessary pre-flight diagnostics and we are ready to depart, Captain.â€ The Vulcan responded, looking over to the other occupant of the pod. The Commander was seating himself in the flight seat and was activating the controls.

â€œWeâ€™re ready when you are Capâ€™nâ€ Trip responded

â€œOk, good luck you two.â€

The outer door of Enterpriseâ€™s shuttle bay parted, the small Earth craft manoeuvred through the gap and was soon entering the blackness of space. Trip altered the shuttleâ€™s heading, taking them towards the spectacle of brightly coloured light, which surrounded the planet below.


	2. Chapter 2

Within minutes the craft was at the edge of the phenomenon, T'Pol immediately getting to work, taking numerous scans and other readings. The silence inside the craft was almost unbearable, T'Pol would have normally preferred not talking about trivial things, but in the years that she had been on the Earth ship, she had grownâ€¦accustomed to their idle conversation. After several long and arduous minutes, Trip broke the silence.

â€œSoâ€¦ How was your honeymoon?â€ he asked, his voice steady, revealing no apparent emotion.

â€œHoneymoon?â€

â€œYeah, you were on Vulcan for two weeks, I figuredâ€¦â€ Trip left the sentence hanging, causing T'Pol to draw her own conclusions.

â€œVulcanâ€™s donâ€™t have honeymoonâ€™s.â€ She responded almost instantaneously. â€œAfter the ceremony I went to Mount Seleya to meditateâ€¦.Alone.â€ She continued, emphasising the last word. She didnâ€™t know why, but she wanted, no, needed him to know that nothing happened between her and Koss.

Trip nodded, he felt slightly better with her answer. In truth he didnâ€™t even know why he asked it, perhaps he could have gotten someâ€¦closure if he had heard she had gone off with Koss to start her new life. Trip cleared his throat as another uncomfortable silence came over the craft. T'Pol went back to analysing the data streaming across her screen, whilst Trip stared absently out of the shuttleâ€™s front view screen. Neither of the two Enterprise officerâ€™s even attempted to star up a new conversation, the next hour passing in relative silence.

â€œEnterprise to shuttle pod one.â€ The sudden noise caused Trip to jump, he leaned over and activated the com.

â€œWeâ€™re here captain, what can we do for you?â€

â€œWe have just received a distress signal from a nearby system. It appears a small ship is having some problems and could use our assistance.â€

â€œIs it serious captainâ€ T'Pol interjected

â€œNo, but it will be soon if they donâ€™t get some help. We should be back in around eighteen hours. Do you know when you will have completed your scanâ€™s T'Pol?â€ The captain questioned

â€œI estimate we will be finished in five point three hours, however the planetâ€™s orbit will soon mean the phenomenon will dissipate, perhaps even cease before Enterprise has time to return.â€

â€œAre we suggesting that we leave you?â€

â€œShuttle pod one is more than capable of sustaining our needs until Enterprise returns.â€ T'Pol answered back

Archer considered what the Vulcan had said for a few seconds.

â€œVery well, Iâ€™ll see that Enterprise doesnâ€™t take too long, and also T'Pol, a message from Vulcan came through for you, it was marked urgent. Do you want Hoshi to re-route it to the shuttle?â€ Archer asked

T'Pol looked over to the other occupant of the pod. His back was to her and he was still staring out of the main view screen so she couldnâ€™t see his reaction.

â€œThat is unnecessary Captain, it can wait until I am back on Enterprise.â€ She responded.

It was no doubt Koss. Her husband had allowed her to return to Enterprise, even thought newly married coupleâ€™s always resided together for one year after the bonding ceremony. He had allowed her to resume her duties, but she knew that was only going to be temporary, soon she would have to return to Vulcan, never again to return to Enterprise. The transmission was more than likely telling her how long she had left to serve on the human vessel. It seemed that now not even where she worked was left up to her.

â€œOk, be careful you two, and remember Enterprise will be out of communications range so try not to get into any trouble.â€ He said, directing the last part more at Trip than anyone else.

â€œWeâ€™ll try our best Capâ€™n, Tucker out.â€

â€œWe should attempt to finish these scans soon.â€ T'Pol stated.

â€œYes, I wouldnâ€™t want you to keep Koss waiting.â€ Trip answered back, the words slipping out before he even had a chance to stop them.

â€œThere was no way of knowing who the message is from.â€ T'Pol replied back.

â€œItâ€™ll be hubby, probably checking up on you to see if us illogical humanâ€™s are bothering you, or tainting you with our pesky emotions.â€ Trip retorted.

â€œYou are getting emotional commander.â€

Trip closed his eyes, he knew she was right but something in him had just snapped. â€œYeah, well so what if I am, you know for such an apparently logical species you still have so many illogical and archaic traditions. Whatâ€™s logical about marring someone you hardly know, someone who blackmailed you into getting him to be with you. Someone you donâ€™t even love!â€

â€œVulcanâ€™s do not experience emotions Commander, feelings are irrelevant.â€ The Vulcan responded, trying to convince herself as much as Trip.

â€œWell maybe you should have told me that before I fell in love with one.â€

T'Polâ€˜s eyes widened as she realised what he had just said. Was it true? She knew he had feelings for her, but she had never realised the extent of them. Did heâ€¦ love her?

Trip immediately regretted his slip up. He had promised himself he was never going to say anything but she just got him so, so worked up! He knew he was going to regret what he was about to say for the rest of his life but it wasnâ€™t fair on him or her. And besides he would feel better if T'Pol hated him, than if she felt anything else for him. If he knew she felt something, even something miniscule for him he would get his hopes up. Something which he couldnâ€™t allow himself to do, he couldnâ€™t get hurt like this again.

â€œYou know just forget what I said. This is just some human crush Iâ€™ve had on you since the Expanse. I guess Iâ€™ve just got a thing for alien women. Itâ€™s not like I didnâ€™t enjoy your experiment. Iâ€™m all for progressing the field of scienceâ€¦Just ask Liana, Princess Kaitaama, and Ahâ€™lenn.â€ he grinned. Outside he displayed a callous, cocky faÃ§ade. Inside he was killing himself, he knew comparing T'Pol to those other women - as if she meant nothing to him would hurt her, but itâ€™s what he had to do. Nothing had ever happened between him and the other women, but T'Pol didnâ€™t know that. He couldnâ€™t help it, it was a defence mechanism, designed to stop him from getting hurt further.

The engineerâ€™s cruel words stabbed at T'Polâ€™s heart like a knife. To be compared to those other women, as another one of his conquests was something she never thought he would say. She pushed down all emotion that threatened to spill. She remembered back to one of Enterpriseâ€™s first missions. The Commander had gotten impregnated by his â€˜explorationâ€™ of another species. She had been right in her assumptions then, he was just an arrogant, emotion human being who just wanted one thing. Why had she ever thought that there could have been something more between them?

T'Polâ€™s Vulcan mask didnâ€™t change but Trip could tell his words had affected her. Her eyes almost shone with unshed tears. He felt like a completely heartless bastard and he knew he was right

â€œIt is fortunate that I chose you to carry out my exploration into human sexuality with you then commander. Any other human would have needed some sort of emotional relationship. It appears you do not.â€ She answered back, her voice steady.

As their exchange continued T'Polâ€™s focus was taken away from the data stream. Both occupants were unaware of the dangers that were building up outside the craft.

â€œPerhaps my marriage was for the best, now you are free to be impregnated by any species you come across.â€ She stated bluntly back, he knew it was a low shot but he deserved it.

â€œPerhaps it was.â€ he shot back, turning back around in his chair to stare out of the view screen. The conversation had ended but the two officers were still left reeling from it. Trip squeezed his eyes shut, blocking out everything. He hated Koss, he hated Vulcan, he hated the Captain for making him go on this damn mission, but most of all he hated himself.

T'Pol meanwhile immersed herself back into her work. She would not let this human get to her! So then why did she feel worse now that she did when she was marrying Koss? At least then she had thought the commander felt something for her, and if she had to admit it, she a Vulcan felt something for him. Even if she didnâ€™t understand what it was. But now it seemed she was mistaken. He had never felt anything for her it seemed. She clenched her jaw, inside torrents of emotion cascaded around her, she would not get emotional!

The next few hours passed in complete silence, the two occupants of the pod left alone with their thoughts. With no apparent warning a slight shudder shook the shuttle, it was nothing to cause concern, but within minutes the slight shudder had grown exponentially, causing the two Enterprise personnel to be thrown around the small craft.

â€œWhat the hell is going on?â€ Trip shouted, as another wave hit the shuttle.

â€œThe phenomenon is affecting the shuttleâ€™s systems. Weâ€˜re losing control.â€

As the shuttle lurched forwards the coupleâ€™s problems were put aside as they worked effortlessly with each, trying to regain control over the craft.

â€œItâ€™s no good, we need to land.â€

â€œThe planet below us has a suitable atmosphere, but the average temperature is minus thirty seven degrees, weâ€™ll freeze to death before long.â€

â€œWell right now I donâ€™t really think we have a choice.â€ Trip answered back, as he attempted to steer the shaking shuttle towards the enormous icy planet below.

â€œThis is shuttle pod one, we are losing control and are attempting to make an emergency landing.â€ The sound of T'Polâ€™s voice caught Tripâ€™s attention, he looked over to her, she was talking into the com; attempting to contact Enterprise.

â€œI repeat this is shuttle pod one, we are losing control and are attempting to make an emergency landing.â€ She repeated again.

â€œDid the signal get through?â€ Trip queried

â€œI can not be certain, the phenomenon could have blocked the signal.â€

The shuttle tore through the planets atmosphere as the craft veered towards the surface. The front of the ship began to glow red as they made their descent towards the surface.

â€œWeâ€™re coming in too fastâ€ Trip cried out as the planetâ€™s white surface became nearer and nearer. â€œI canâ€™t make a stable landing.â€

The craft dived towards the planet, the shuttle bouncing off itâ€™s surface as it slid along metres and metres of the crisp white ice. Trip became briefly aware of T'Pol calling his name, as pain flooded his senses. His last few seconds were spent regretting what could have been the last thing he said to T'Pol, before the world around him went black!


	3. Chapter 3

Trip cracked his eyes open, soon regretting it. His vision swam as he attempted to look around at his surroundings; he moved to sit up, a cry escaping his lips. Looking down he saw a small puddle of crimson liquid pooling by the side of his crooked leg. _Yep, definitely broken,_ he thought grimly. Looking around he saw the still form of his Vulcan companion. His heart jumped, and he could hear it pounding within his ears.

â€œT'Pol?â€ he called out, nervously.

He received no response, clenching his jaw he crawled over to her, his injured leg sending pain shooting through his form. Even though he had moved no more than a metre, it felt as if all his strength had been drained.

â€œT'Polâ€ he muttered again, his voice slightly slurred. He reached his hand up to her, shaking her shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open and locked with his.

â€œAre you ok?â€ he asked sincerely

She sat up slowly, â€œI am uninjuredâ€ she responded.

Looking over to the engineer, she took notice of the clamminess of his face and the crooked shape of his leg, vital liquid seeping through his uniform.

â€œYou are hurtâ€

Was it him or did she sound concerned?

â€œIâ€™m fine, itâ€™s just a break, Phlox will be able to fix it up no problemâ€ he replied.

T'Pol looked unconvinced, moving closer to him she knelt down and lightly examined his leg, Trip wasnâ€™t able to suppress the gasp that escaped his lips.

â€œOk, maybe itâ€™s a bit worse than I said.â€ he gasped

â€œYou are loosing a lot of blood.â€

â€œI think thereâ€™s an emergency med kit, somewhere over there.â€ he said pointing behind her.

Standing up she quickly found the medical equipment, kneeling back beside him she started to rip at his bloodied trouser leg. It was far worse than she was expecting, if he didnâ€™t get medical attention soonâ€¦.

â€œHow does it look?â€

She looked over to him; Trip knew her more than most and was accustomed to her facial expressions, small as they were. â€œThat good huh.â€ he answered for her.

â€œI will need to try and reset the bone, before you lose any more blood.â€ She stated in her direct Vulcan way.

Trip nodded, â€œis there any pain relief in the med kit?â€

â€œI am unsure whether to give you any medication; in your present state it could have serious side effects. You could lapse into a coma.â€

Trip closed his eyes. â€œYour probably right, just do it quick.â€

T'Pol looked apprehensively at the engineer, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. At least this way he would hopefully be alive long enough for Enterprise to rescue them.

She softly placed her hands on his injured leg and pulled, manoeuvring it into place. A pain filled scream erupted from Tripâ€™s lips, it was too much for the humanâ€™s body to take and he passed out.

T'Pol began bandaging his leg; it was still bad, very bad. However, it would give him a better chance of survival until Phlox could get to him. Looking around the small craft, she found a blanket, and placed it carefully over him. _What would I do if I lost him?_ It was an illogical and selfish thought but she thought it none the less. Before the incident with Koss, Trip had been her most valued friend aboard Enterprise, perhaps anywhere. It wasnâ€™t just because of their â€˜experimentâ€™, she could have gone to him with anything and he would have gladly taken the time to help her. That was gone now but she had been hoping to return to some sort of normality, any sort of normality. However, if she lost him, she knew Enterprise would be a much lonelier, emptier place without him. An Enterprise she may not want to return to.

Standing up she walked over to the front console, perhaps now would be the best time to analyse the situation they had gotten themselves into. The ships systems had taken a beating on the journey down here, many were non-operational. Hopefully she could get some of them to function enough to send a distress signal to Enterprise, or find some way to get off this planet. Submerging herself under the console her nimble fingers started to reconnect some of the damaged systems. She was aware that with each passing minute the temperature in the craft slightly decreased. The temperature controls were completely broken, even Trip wouldnâ€™t be able to fix them. A fact, which didnâ€™t bode well for the two officersâ€˜.

Two hours had soon passed aboard the small craft, Trip was still unconscious - a fact which was starting to concern T'Pol. The temperature was now slightly below zero, and still dropping. On the plus side though, she had managed to get the oxygen filters slightly operational, at least now they had cleaner air to breath when they froze to death. She was now attempting to fix the communication system, like the temperature controls, it too was practically unsalvageable. Pulling her blanket tighter around herself, her shaking hands tried to connect several wires in the com together. It was useless; even if the com was salvageable, her fingers kept stiffening up from the cold -preventing her from doing anything productive.

A groan from behind her brought her concentration away from the job at hand. Turning around she saw that Trip had begun to stir, his heavy breaths visible in the cold. She moved over to him in an instant, his eyelids were flickering open and closed. It appeared to be taking some effort to even regain consciousness.

â€œMr Tucker can you hear me?â€ she questioned, it looked as if he was slipping back under. In his condition, coupled with the cold he could easily lapse into a coma, something T'Pol wasnâ€™t going to allow.

â€œâ€¦.Trip can you hear me?â€ the use of his nickname on her lips had the desired effect on the young engineer and his eyelids opened, staying open this time.

â€œT'Pol?â€ he whispered, coughing slightly. â€œ..Hurtsâ€ he gasped.

She winced slightly, as she heard the pain in his voice. â€œI know, but I canâ€™t give you any medication for itâ€

He nodded slightly. â€œHow bad is it?â€ he said referring to the shuttle.

â€œNone of the key systems are operational, communications and the temperature regulators are inoperable.â€

â€œDid we get the message through at least?â€

â€œI can not be sure.â€

He nodded again and yawned, shutting his eyes.

â€œCommander you need to remain awake.â€

â€œIâ€™m so tired T'Polâ€

â€œThat may be the case but you still need to remain conscious.â€

Trip opened his eyes again, his face had lost all colour and he was shivering slightly.

â€œHow are your parents?â€ T'Pol asked starting up a conversation.

Trip didnâ€™t answer for a few seconds, he knew what she was doing and why. It was likely that if he did go back to sleep then he could never wake up again, something that scared him to death, pardon the pun. Even after all the hurtful things he had said to her before they crashed, and he knew they had hurt her, Vulcan or not - she was still helping and looking after him. _He didnâ€™t deserve her._

â€œTheyâ€™re fine, they moved to a new house. Lizzie would have loved itâ€ he answered. T'Pol had been his lifeline in the Expanse when he was dealing with the death of his little sister. To be honest he wouldnâ€™t know what he would have done without her, a fact that made him feel even worse about his earlier comments. It wasnâ€™t her fault she had to marry Koss, yet he took it out on her.

The next hour passed in much the same way, they casually talked, just as they did before. It only stood to remind Trip of what he had lost, and what he could never have with her again. With every minute that passed, the shuttle became colder, if that was possible. Trip couldnâ€™t help the shiver that wracked his frame and the sharp intake of breath as he jarred his already painful leg. He pulled his blanket closer to him, locking in any excess heat.

T'Pol looked over to the engineer, his lips were slightly blue from the cold and she was shivering just as much. She knew what she was about to say would be uncomfortable for both of them, but there wasnâ€™t much choice.

â€œIt is logical that we should start conserving body heat.â€

Trip swallowed, if it wasnâ€™t bad enough that he felt as if he was dying, whilst being trapped on an ice planet with the married woman he loved; now she wanted to conserve body heat! He apprehensively acknowledged and she moved to lie next to him, her body pressed against his. It was true that he instantly felt warmer, but he had also instantly felt more uncomfortable.

â€œI never thought Iâ€™d be freezing my butt off on a shuttle again, I swear shuttle pod oneâ€™s cursed.â€ he mumbled, barely above a whisper.

He knew with each moment that passed his life was ebbing away, he could feel it. His leg was still bleeding, albeit not as badly, but he was feeling more and more weak from the blood loss, and the unbearable cold. He looked down at T'Pol; her head was resting on his chest. If he was going to go, he didnâ€™t want the words that she remembered him by being him comparing her to his other â€˜conquestsâ€™.

â€œT'Pol, do you remember what I said before, about you just being some foolish crush.â€

She didnâ€™t respond but he knew she had heard him. â€œYou know, just as much as me that was complete bull, I didnâ€™t want to put pressure on you. I know you didnâ€™t have any choice marrying Koss, and a part of me thought that you hating me would be better than if you felt anything else for me.â€ he continued

â€œThis isnâ€™t exactly where or when I wanted to say it but I do love you, more than I ever thought I could. I know youâ€™re with Koss and itâ€™s selfish of me to put you in this position but I couldnâ€™t die with you hating me.â€

T'Pol raised her head and met his eyes; she could see the sincerity in which he had said those words. I donâ€™t deserve his love, she whispered internally to herself. She had bonded to Koss, even though she suspected the engineer had feelings for her. Brought him to Vulcan to see her wed Koss. And even before that incident, in the Expanse she had passed over their night together as an â€˜experimentâ€™, and just generally ignored him when it suited her.

â€œI could never hate you Tripâ€ she whispered back, entwining her fingers with his under the blankets. â€œI regret ever going back to Vulcan, perhaps then things could have been different between us if I never went.â€

Trip slightly smiled back, â€œperhapsâ€ he coughed, the cold air engulfing his lungs. â€œI guess weâ€™ll never know now. At least I got to see what our life could have been like, what our son would have been like.â€ He finished, referring to the events, which unfolded in the Expanse. He had been so amazed when he found out he had a son - Lorian, except now Lorian, or any child he could have had with T'Pol would never exist.

â€œI went to see my future self on the other Enterprise, she talked about you.â€ T'Pol began, she didnâ€™t know why she was telling the engineer this but she found herself doing it anyway.

â€œWhat did she say?â€ Trip whispered, his voice raspy

â€œShe told me to follow my heart.â€

Trip reluctantly asked the question he needed to know, â€œâ€¦What does your heart want?â€

T'Pol considered what the engineer had said, and gave her honest answer.â€ I donâ€™t know.â€

The two lay in silence for several minutes, neither knowing quite what to say. T'Pol had her head resting upon his heart, his heartbeat was becoming slower and if she had to admit it, it terrified her. His breathing was becoming more and more shallow, if Enterprise didnâ€™t find them soon then the ship would soon need a new chief engineer.

â€œT'Pol?â€ T'Pol turned to look into Tripâ€™s eyes â€œâ€¦it hurts so much.â€ The Vulcan could see it in his eyes the amount of raw pain he was in, her eyes watered slightly as she tightened her grasp on his hand. â€œThen sleep Trip, Iâ€™m here.â€ she whispered, her voice catching in her throat.

Trip looked over to her, his grasp on reality becoming weaker and weaker as the pain and cold consumed him. â€œOk, goodnight darlâ€™n.â€ he muttered.

â€œGoodnight Trip.â€ She replied, her emotional barriers cracking. She listened to his heartbeat become slower and slower with every passing minute. Shivering she closed her eyes, joining the engineer in restless slumber.


End file.
